Its about damn time

I never thought this semester would show its ass. But alas, it has and I couldn't be happier.
Have developed a working language with Picasso (aka: the pup). Interesting how he talks back.
Haven't had much to say or write about to anyone as of late. Must be the precision focus on my studies...if only I could believe it myself.

Been bonding with a Japanese gal from school. She is in the same program as I, and her English is quite good.

No other news...for now.

Phone calls from Korea

My day began with a call from E. Seems her BF is going to spend a day and night in Osaka and she wanted to know what he should see. So there I was trying to rack my brain for street names and places and trying to communicate that through a staticy connection. Even though the country would fit in the land mass of California, that doesn't mean everything is easy to get to, especially if one is staying near the airport.
Yes, the airport that is slowly sinking back into the ocean. That construction marvel that they (the government) must keep reinforcing and siphoning water from...that floating island constructed, in part, to keep people employed during a major recession.

Today was a day of breaking the temperature high--it was 91 in the Cities. Still quite warm at 10pm, but it is cooling off.
Unfortunately, with the rain comes the mosquitoes...the unofficial state "bird" of MN. Watch out or you could be donating a pint.
;-0

feeling like getting drunk

...but I've got too much to do. Although I think maybe I can put it off for one more day???

I can't get the damned erotic images and fantasies outta my head... this is bad. Almost bad enough to want to drive down to Mpls and go "toy" shopping for something new.

I wish I were in my own space and place again, but that will be coming here eventually. The BF wants to do it right, in regards to moving in together. Not sure what that means, although my parents sure do have their ideas which I am trying to not let pollute my own train of thought.

Nothing exciting ever happens and that is usually the way I like it. That way I stay outta trouble.

Erotic Dreams...

I woke up this morning not only because of the pooch, but also because of the disturbingly real dream I was having...
It was wet. It was hot. And it made me shiver in anticipation of what was to come...It involved a couple of different men, not at the same time though. ---As you know, dream time is not like real time---so it went from being with one man to looking up and seeing another in his place...Oh, god the feelings---ah, ugh!, not that word cuz it was not emotional---the orgasmic potential ---better, but still not spot on, anyways--- left me wanting more. The man knew what he was doing with his tool and he knew how to please me. Slowly teasing me...tracing circles with his member around my flower before releasing the honey that was building up... The explosions. The quivers. The quakes. The tears of joy at being released.. Only to have a repeat performance by someone else. It was pure heaven until reality came yipping in.........
The misery of knowing I will wait for another 6 months before I can be released from my self-imposed chastity belt. Why oh why did I fall for a man whose dream it was to move someplace that is unavailable for flights for 6-8 months out of the year? Therefore putting himself in exile and leaving me here to wait and try to "entertain" myself with Mr. Red, but that just ain't doing it.
I wonder what Freud would make of that dream and the subsequent ideas.

Have dog, will travel...

The pooch is a royal pain in arse! He must come from a long line of them or something. Ma left him outside this morning so I could sleep for a bit longer, as I am the one who gets up at 5 am to take him for his morning piss... So she put his food and water bowls out there with him and she strategically placed toys all around the circle that his chain permits him to run...
Well, he was having none of it! I finally dragged my butt outta bed at quarter to ten and went to get him. Well, he seems to think he is the reincarnation of Cojo or something...The boy has fangs on him that could kill and those are just his puppy teeth.
So I sit and wonder will I get anything accomplished today with him chewing on me and everything else his little mouth can grab? Right now he is after a cardboard box...

Absurd Reality Show-like atmosphere to Adopt...

next week on 20/20. This is taking it too far! That is wrong. Why would someone or some families want to be filmed on such a personal journey? Is nothing sacred anymore?

And I feel for the Tillman family...he was the pro-footballer who gave up his multimillion dollar career in the NFL to serve his country and he paid the ultimate price today or yesterday.

One more week is done--and I just have to do many papers this weekend.

I know nothing so therefore, I am boring.... at least tonight that is...

Simply Amazing

My dear friend Timmie is fighting cancer now...so for those of you who pray, please put him on your prayer lists...The above statement is his saying... he always says it in good times and USUALLY bad (read: shight, rhymes with tight).

I don't really have much else to say... Except only one more week of school and I am so looking forward to living the "college" life that I didn't really live the first time around...you know, off of loans and not working or not working much. I just want to focus on my studies... unless I get hired for teaching this summer in the IEC, in which case I won't only be focusing on my studies.

I love teaching ESL@!!!! That is about the only thing I know...That and I miss the BF and wish he were here....

Later all...

Power Trips of NIPs... (non-important people)

So I got my evaluation from the teacher I observed and assisted with in the field. She was none-too-kind and made me mental for about five minutes. Amazing who can get a teaching license in this state. The woman made two important spelling errors to her students. Now, it wouldn't be that big of a deal if the students were native English speakers...but when they are children learning English as a Second Language and she "corrected" the word as the child had it spelled on her paper "suplies" to "supllies" I couldn't, in good conscience, let the little girl leave thinking that was how to spell the word "supplies". Well the teacher got M-A-D at me for correcting her. And let me know it both verbally and now on this form. The funny thing was the second week I was observing her class, she spelled the word "argument" with an "e", but I didn't say anything. So it wasn't as if I hadn't heard her message the week before. So now I'm pissy and annoyed and am wondering if I really want to go through these hoops to get the k-12 license...
I wish my BF was home so I could curl up in his arms and just be...

Ruminations...

So yesterday as I was teaching my "culture" class I decided to share my eureka! moments with them...in the past few weeks it has slowly dawned on me that I am suffering from a case of reverse culture shock.

I have been thinking how much easier life was in Japan--
I knew what was expected of me. I knew what my immediate future held. I had stability and with that some sort of sanity. I had grown comfortable and secure in my environment there. Now I am definitely putting a rose-colored spin on it, cuz it wasn't all peaches and cream there was plenty of crap too. But after the first year I had my place figured out. I was a gaijin. I was a teacher...aka: a performer paid to jump through hoops. I balked many times at the requests made by the managers but I usually did what was asked.

But now I am here. Dealing with America and American-isms again. I had a rough time these last two Wednesdays... I had to do my field experience for getting my k-12 license. Well, the teacher I worked with was...mmmm...how do I put this nicely? Overbearing? Domineering? Controlling? Long story short, I stepped on her toes the very first day of working with her. I corrected her spelling error to a student (individually of course). Wrong thing to do. I just did not want to let that little girl leave her ESL classroom thinking the correct spelling of "SUPPLIES" is "SUPLLIES". Then this past week the teacher's spelling error was the word "argument" she spelled it "arguEment" so now there are 5 teens who believe that is how to spell argument. After seeing that, I have become much more concerned with the state of affairs in public education.

So do I want to continue pursuing this career path? Or do I want to teach at Community College or at University?

This could be contingent upon what happens with my career as a Graduate TA in the Intensive English Center (IEC)...

I put my foot in my mouth with my Professor (supervisor in the IEC)...we have these stupid assignments which are just busy work and the class is suppose to be a practicum to help teachers teach---or so I thought. Well, the busy work consists of journal writing, self-evaluations, peer-evaluations, reading reviews of 4 chapters and attending a class/staff meeting every week. Now I understand the staff meeting and discussion of students in said meetings...what I don't understand is how reading about teaching is going to help me with my teaching skills when we don't discuss it or utilize it in any apparent manner. Well, I was feeling pissy so I wrote my true feelings in one of my journal entries which my Prof commented strongly upon. Now I am unsure if I am on her shit-list or not.

So is it culture shock in reverse? or is it just a character flaw on my part? hmmmmm...

I had a different Prof tell me this week that I "intimidate" people by making them feel inferior and that I am too "serious" alot of the time. GREAT! How am I suppose to go about changing that???

The struggle to find a happy balance of what is expected versus how I am is what I am dealing with now. I am looking forward to my month-long vacation between terms...

And I think I may be onto something which I can investigate further for my thesis...

Random thoughts from 2 cans of biru

The joys of jumping through the mandatory hooops of a college education.. Received a "98%" on a paper which will go into my "professional" portfolio for job hunting (when I'm looking for that k-12 position)...Laughable!!! But a good thing to know that I am still capable of talking the talk and walking the walk...

Totally enjoying my dog. He ROCKS!!

Seriously considering a brainless job for the summer, just trying to decide where to apply. A coffee shop seems like the ideal situation, but I have to peruse my options. Don't want to do the disciplinarian job I've been at since last summer... Shitty company with even worse clients.

REALLY REALLY REALLY looking forward to the month of May and the holiday it entails... nothing on the agenda---YIIiIPPIIIEEEEE!!! Hey have you ever notice that an "i" looks like an upside-down exclamation point "!"

I should go to bed. Have to go and pretend I enjoy middle school at 8am tomorrow. GRRR. Glad it is my last day. Also get to take my puppy to the Vet at 3pm. Ah, the simple life.

Also realizing I am going through reverse culture shock and am hating everything about America. So am trying to figure out how to live here again... what a weird feeling this is. Now I understand why all my friends from Japan upon returning home, fell off the radar... they were dealing with too much shit.

Looking forward to my next big adventure.

Until I return...Have one on me.

Long time coming...

I have been crazy-busy and there is no sign of relief in sight over the next few weeks. How I hate the end of a semester. I have so much to do and no time to do it in. Briefly...
--we got a pup. His name is Picasso. He is a Husky and he is gnawing on everything he can.
--loving teaching; hating being a student. Definitely NOT looking forward to working on my thesis.
--being stressed by my mother...what else is new?!
--trying to find a decent hairdresser...been to 4 different ones in the past 11 months. Am trying another new one in a couple weeks. am considering going back to blonde. but for now, am reddish-purple with butterscotch streaks. I miss Chikako and the salon in Seta.
--trying to work out more and get off my ass... don't want to be a cow for the BF when he comes home.
--did my first "field experience" for teaching in Middle/High schools... I know for certain I don't want to teach in High School the hormones and angst are too much to revisit on a daily basis...been there. done that. don't care to relive it. Fortunately only one more "shift" at the high school.
--want to boycott doing the homework for my practicum class. the prof has made us TAs in the IEC do a bunch of assignments in addition to teaching our regular classes. All the other TAs that are working in other areas of the English dept don't have to do assignments for their practicums...seems rather unfair; besides its a P/F class. Perhaps I should talk to the prof about the "unfairness" of it all. See if that helps...can't hurt.