I'm confused. I thought I wanted to be a teacher, but now I'm not so sure. I am into my first full week of student teaching and it is a lot like what I did last term with the field experience. I like working in the high school but am beginning to be filled with dread and fear about going into the elementary schools. The middle school sucks and I don't want to get into it here.

I just wanted to vent a little bit in public about this questioning of mine. It also sucks that Dave is working at the prison now and his hours are the total opposite of mine. So I am sleeping when he gets home from work and he is sleeping when I get up and leave for work. Hopefully it isn't forever. But what will I do if I don't like teaching? This is what I've had my heart set on for the last two years and now it seems like it might be crashing down around me.... Scared. Nervous. Unsure. Not thrilled about reliving the middle school emotions through the eyes of an onlooker and adult. Its kinda weird and a bit uncomfortable for me. I remember how much it sucked and feel for these kids but I also see them as only kids and I felt like I was so much more grown-up when I was in 8th grade than what I am seeing from these wee-ones. I guess this is what 31 and adulthood feels like and looks like.
On that note... my body is shifting... and not necessarily in a good way. I've got more hips and ass and thighs than I care for but have no motivation to exercise even though clothing doesn't fit so well anymore. It seems once I hit 29 and stopped getting regular exercise and stopped eating well and kept drinking... well logic tells me what has caused this global shift. It didn't help that I quit smoking and ate my way through the first couple of months. It is so easy to let the weight creep on and next to impossible to see any dynamic shift when I try to make it shift back. I was walking daily with the dog and now I'm not. When I was the weight wasn't moving, so why should I continue? Poor excuse I know but that is all I have for now.