Here is my dilemma...the love of my life is at the South Pole, helping build the polar station. He's been there since October and won't be home until October. So I promised him I'd quit smoking cuz his 'rents don't or won't approve. Well on my 29th birthday I had my last cigarette and how I miss it. But, I do feel much better.

See I think I am going through a minor pre-midlife crisis. Trying to get all my ducks in a row so I can step into that next chapter which will be coming in 11 months. Then to add to the stress, I am working on my Masters in TESL and getting my K-12 license at the same time. Add a half TA position and working 12-24 hours overnight everyweek and I am running on fumes. Fortunately that last bit will be changing in a couple of weeks. More time to myself and my studies. I just don't know how to do it all without snapping... Any ideas?

I want to get married, have a great job (or at least a job I like and enjoy going to) get my Master's, have a couple of babies and/or adopt a couple and live the fairy tale knowing full well that it doesn't exist except in my imagination.

I want my honey home with me, but that won't be happening now...he is ice bound until October when flights resume. And the satellite burnt out, so phoning isn't an option now and emailing will be S-L-O-W. Hopefully it will continue to work, cuz if it doesn't I don't know what I will do.

I miss having my friends around. I miss E, she's in Korea now. And I miss Japan. Living there for 3 years is hard to get out of your system. I miss it, but not enough to move back. I miss my friends there. I miss the freedom I had. I miss Emma and Mikiko and Caro and Nick and Peter and even Simon.

Must go and drink my beer before it freezes...